Young and newly
married,
I relaxed
under a pecan tree on a hot Texas summer day,
drinking iced
tea and getting to know my new sister-in-law, Estelle.
Not much older
than I, but already the mother of three,
Estelle seemed
to me experienced and wise.
"Get yourself
some girlfriends, Lacreta," she advised,
clinking the
ice cubes in her glass.
"You are going
to need girlfriends.
Go places
with them; do things with them."
What a funny
piece of advice, I thought.
Hadn't I just
gotten married?
Hadn't I just
joined the couple-world?
I was a married
woman, for goodness sake,
not a young
girl who needed girlfriends.
But I listened
to this new sister-in-law.
I got myself
some girlfriends.
As the years
tumbled by, one after another,
gradually
I came to understand that
Estelle knew
what she was talking about.
I remembered
that she had said the
word "girlfriends"
with emphasis.
As I went along,
I discovered
the subtle difference
between friends
and girlfriends.
You go to work with friends, go
to dinner with friends,
go to church
with friends, belong to clubs with friends.
You send friends
greeting cards.
You need friends
in your life;
all girlfriends
were once only friends.
But a girlfriend
is different.
A girlfriend
is not "just like a sister."
Sisters have
a distinct bond,
sometimes
good, sometimes bad.
Sisters flow
from family attachment;
girlfriends
choose each other.
A sister also
can be a girlfriend.
As a thank-you
to my sister-in-law
and to the
other girlfriends in my life,
I offer this
praise of girlfriends.
Here is what
I know about girlfriends:
Girlfriends
don't compete.
Girlfriends
bring casseroles and scrub your bathroom
when you are
sick.
Girlfriends
keep your children, and keep your secrets.
Girlfriends
give advice when you ask for it.
Sometimes
you take it, sometimes you don't.
Girlfriends
don't always tell you that you are right.
Girlfriends
might send you a birthday card, but they might not.
It does not
matter in the least.
Girlfriends
laugh with you and you don't need canned jokes
to start the
laughter.
Girlfriends
don't yammer about you behind your back.
Girlfriends
pull you out of jams.
Girlfriends
don't keep a calendar that lets them know
who hosted
the other last.
Girlfriends
will give a party for your son or daughter
when they
get married or have a baby
in whichever
order that comes!
And girlfriends
are there for you,
in an instant
and truly,
when the hard
times come.
Girlfriends
listen when you lose a job or a husband.
Girlfriends
listen when your children break your heart.
Girlfriends
listen when your parents' minds and bodies fail.
My girlfriends
bless my life.
Once we were
young,
with no idea
of the incredible joys
or the incredible
sorrows that lay ahead.
Nor did we
know how much we would need each other.
I want to
tell younger women to take my sister-in-law's advice. Get yourself
some girlfriends.
You are going
to need them.
~Author Unknown
To Me~
