My Wish for You this Holiday Season

May you get a clean bill of health 
from your Dentist, your Cardiologist, your Urologist,
your Proctologist, your Podiatrist, your Psychiatrist, 
your plumber and the I.R.S.

May your hair, your teeth, your facelift, 
your abs and your stocks not fall; 
and may your blood pressure, your triglycerides, 
your cholesterol, your white blood count 
and your mortgage interest not rise.

May you find a way to travel from anywhere to anywhere in the rush hour in less than an hour, 
and when you get there may you find a parking space.

May Friday evening, December 31, 
find you seated around the family table, 
together 
with your beloved family and cherished friends, 
ushering in the New Year. 
You will find the food better, 
the environment quieter, the cost much cheaper, 
and the pleasure much more fulfilling 
than anything else you might ordinarily do that night.

May you wake up on January 1st, 
finding that the world has not come to an end, 
the lights work, the water faucets flow, 
and the sky has not fallen.

May you go to the bank on Monday morning, 
January 3rd 
and find your account is in order, 
your money is still there 
and any mistakes are in your favor.

May you ponder on January 4th; 
how did this ultramodern civilization of ours 
manage to get itself traumatized 
by a possible slip of a blip 
on a chip made out of sand.

May we relax about the Third Millennium 
and realize that we still have 1000 years 
until the dawn of the Fourth Millennium 
as marked by the Julian calendar 
by which time 
the computer will be long since replaced, 
and so will we.

May what you see in the mirror delight you, 
and what others see in you delight them.

May someone love you enough to forgive your faults, 
be blind to your blemishes, 
and tell the world about your virtues.

May the telemarketers wait to make their sales calls 
until you finish dinner, 
may your check book and your budget balance, 
and may they include generous amounts for charity.

May you remember to say "I love you" 
at least once a day to your spouse, 
your child and your parents; 
but not to your secretary, 
your nurse, your masseuse, 
your hairdresser or
your tennis instructor.

This is my wish for you this holiday season.